Another day, another existential crisis

According to Wikipedia, an existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether this life has any meaning, purpose, or value. I suspect most people will have many moments in which they question elements of life. Thanks to (or not) my quick mood transitions I have one at least twice a week, and for me they aren’t ‘moments’ but hours, as I fixate on every little detail and it just runs on repeat in my head. Think of it like that really awful song stuck in your head, that no matter how hard you try and how many other things you listen to, you just can’t get rid of for hours and it drives you nutty! Today I will share with you an example of one of mine that happened recently, which I decided to write down. This particular one went around and around for about 3 hours during the night, so it kept me awake for some time. The purpose of me sharing this is not to bum anyone out, so I apologise if it does! It’s simply to give more of an insight into the borderline mind, and hopefully people who struggle with similar experiences will feel less alone. It might be a bit messy, as I did write quite late, but I didn’t want to edit it (with the exception of removing expletives) because that would kind of defeat the purpose.
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Faye
September 29, 2016

Blankety blank

I’ve been wracking my brains for the past few days to find something to write about, but I’ve hit a bit of a wall. I do have some ideas swirling around – I could talk about my experience with OCD, eating disorders, self harm, or go for something a little less personal such as ideas on how to brighten your living spaces, however nothing is really tickling my fancy. Everything just feels so uninspiring and effortful at the moment. I think I might start a small repository of posts so that, when I’m running on empty, I have some things stored away that I can post to keep a nice flow going here 🙂
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Faye
September 21, 2016

Luca: Living with a borderline

Living with an individual who has borderline personality disorder is… unpredictable.

It’s a fine line between emotional and a mental health disorder I think, especially to the outside world. Identifying the patterns can be difficult but once you see them, they can’t be unseen. There is consistency in the inconsistency. The 2 key factors are:

Time: even if Faye’s mood changes significantly on an hourly basis, there is predictable behaviour on a approximately weekly cycle. There are even larger timescales of months and quarters but I won’t get into that.
Mood state: happy, sad, excitable, eager, inventive, optimistic, depressed, self conscious, daring. The list goes on. They all could happen in a single day but 1 or 2 tend to be what most people see.
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