Guest blog: Mental Hillness

A good friend of mine, with whom (and 3 lovely ladies) I helped set up the Facebook mental health support group ‘Muddled Minds‘, wrote this poem and agreed to let me share it with you all! In my opinion it’s brilliant, and captures the ups and downs and the speed of particular illnesses very well!
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Another day, another existential crisis

According to Wikipedia, an existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether this life has any meaning, purpose, or value. I suspect most people will have many moments in which they question elements of life. Thanks to (or not) my quick mood transitions I have one at least twice a week, and for me they aren’t ‘moments’ but hours, as I fixate on every little detail and it just runs on repeat in my head. Think of it like that really awful song stuck in your head, that no matter how hard you try and how many other things you listen to, you just can’t get rid of for hours and it drives you nutty! Today I will share with you an example of one of mine that happened recently, which I decided to write down. This particular one went around and around for about 3 hours during the night, so it kept me awake for some time. The purpose of me sharing this is not to bum anyone out, so I apologise if it does! It’s simply to give more of an insight into the borderline mind, and hopefully people who struggle with similar experiences will feel less alone. It might be a bit messy, as I did write quite late, but I didn’t want to edit it (with the exception of removing expletives) because that would kind of defeat the purpose.
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Faye
September 29, 2016

Blankety blank

I’ve been wracking my brains for the past few days to find something to write about, but I’ve hit a bit of a wall. I do have some ideas swirling around – I could talk about my experience with OCD, eating disorders, self harm, or go for something a little less personal such as ideas on how to brighten your living spaces, however nothing is really tickling my fancy. Everything just feels so uninspiring and effortful at the moment. I think I might start a small repository of posts so that, when I’m running on empty, I have some things stored away that I can post to keep a nice flow going here 🙂
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Faye
September 21, 2016

My first jobless summer & how I didn’t go bonkers with boredom

Most people who know me offline know I haven’t been out of employment since I got my first paper round at 13… That is until last August when I left my web design job, a role that I loved for the 4 years I was there, to move to London (well, outskirts of).

When we got here, I was actively looking for work. Mainly mental health related roles, as working experience is a requirement for most (if not all) clinical psychology doctorates, but I have a wealth of experience in catering and waitressing so I was looking for that too. I also looked for design jobs, however I was finding that most need a web/arts related degree which I obviously do not have! There was nothing! Then my mental health started to decline, so it was decided I would remain jobless for a little while and just focus on trying to catch up with my studies. The intention was to look for employment again during the summer break, however summer break came around and there was still nothing! So, I started to think seriously about what I could do with my time. I knew I needed some kind of plan or idea, as being stuck at homme all day with nothing but housework to do I knew would not do my already poor mental state any good at all! I made a list of things I could do, and so as not to overwhelm myself I chose 3 things from that list to focus on – one simple thing I could do on days when I was lacking energy but felt like I needed to ‘accomplish’ something, one slightly more time consuming, and one thing I’d wanted to do for ages but never had the time for. Those things were as follows;
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Faye
September 11, 2016